Reality Check

After a discussion with the boyfriend yesterday, the reality of what the next 6 months is going to do to us is finally starting to come into focus for me.  I had it made up in my mind things would be sunshine and flowers after this past summer, but from the looks of it, there isn't going to be any return to normalcy until the end of this coming summer for our relationship.  And this is a little unsettling, mostly due to the fact that my ambitious brain and optimistic side seemed to flare up at the hope of returning to normalcy.

I tend to look at life as a diamond in the rough for each individual person.  I see the ugliness and unfairness and cruelty that makes up this world that's dominated by Western society.  And I know quite a few people (including the boyfriend) who are completely depressed, heartbroken and discouraged by that reality.  They can't see past the ugliness and hopelessness of Consumerism, violence, greed, power, and the perverted twists that have sprung up in our morals over the past few decades.

I don't see it that way.  I don't really understand how, but I somehow overlook the negative and see the potential and joy that exists in the small moments of every day life.  The easiest analogy I can think of is how when you look through a window you see the outside world, but if you look again, you can see your reflection in the window because of the glass.  I would say that I see the reflection when everyone else sees what's through it.

That doesn't mean that I'm ignorant or naive to what's really going on.  People love to keep me informed, as well as myself.  I do have an education, and I keep myself aware of what's happening around me.  I just have a different perspective than most people.

I am disheartened knowing the next six months or so are going to be trying times for me and my relationship.  I don't know of anyone going through what I'm dealing with, so I'm on my own when it comes to figuring out how to get by the day by day stuff.  Just gotta look at the big picture while keeping track of the small things.