One Step Closer

Having graduation in the back of my mind has been a wonderful source of inspiration and determination to finish out 2012 with a bang.  It also has me really thinking about life after college.  And that's pretty soon.  I'm about 10 1/2 months away from holding a degree and billions of dollars of debt (not literally, but I'm sure it'll feel that way soon enough!).

It makes me wonder what I'm going to do with myself (non-careerwise) when I no longer have  to sign up for classes or have anything to do with school.  Am I gonna be living here still?  I hope not, but I also hope so.  I have no idea where I'll be ending up, but I know that I'll want to be around my friends, possibly family, but around people who really care about me and vice versa.  I definitely would like to get out of the college scene since most of my friends are graduated/graduating as well and have started their own lives and families.  I always thought that lifestyle was for older people in their 30s, but it can start whenever you want it to.  It feels like once I've settled into one way of doing things, I want to switch it up again.  And I guess that's just part of growing up.

I've been looking at a lot of lifestyle choices when it comes to costs, and I have come to the conclusion that I'm not going to have a wedding.  Honestly, in this economy, I don't have 20 grand to throw up for some big show for 200+ people.  Yes, I believe that marriage is a celebration, but I'm not going to kill myself trying to make it happen.  I'm better off getting an elopement.  $50 to get married?  Yes please.

On top of all that, I've been reflecting a lot on myself and just where I am versus where I want to be.  There's quite a lot I'd like to do, however, there is a time and place for everything.  I need to start doing some spring cleaning with my life and lifestyle choices in order to be in the mental and spiritual place I want to be.  I've done it before when I was alone, but the real challenge is doing it with someone else in tow.  I honestly think I can do it, but it's going to take hard work and dedication, and the optimism for when I make mistakes or fall through.  I'm happy with my life, but I'm always happy for change as well.

After a GIANT Break from Nothing....

So much is going on in my life right now.  I don't even know where to begin.  One of my friends got married, and it was an absolute blast to see that happen and celebrate.  After the holiday ended, I was pushed to the brink with work, and with the events that unfolded in the past two weeks, I've come to a decision with that.  The boyfriend was offered 2 jobs during that, and today he started with one of them.  With hearing the good news about his offers, I scheduled an appointment at school to sort out my actual graduation date, and what would happen if I was full time till the end.

I am a full time student again.  I graduate in December 2012.  Holy buckets, I'm going to be an adult with a degree.

As I came to that realization, I did one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I walked away from working.  I put my trust and finances in the hands of someone else willingly.  Let's see if this bites me in the ass in the next couple of months....

But seriously, with the way things have been at my job, I cut that tie cleanly and am not looking back.  After the amounts of verbal abuse, neglect, and lack of respect from the owner, I did what any normal human being would do, and that would be "F***k it all."  Maybe if whipping boy was listed under the responsibilities of this job and it came with twice the salary and full benefits, I'd stick it out; but as Gwen Stefani put it: "this sh*t is bananas."  Sometimes you gotta let it all go and walk away, no matter how much you fear being fucked over by doing that.

I think everyone can relate to that situation, and it's hard.  Especially now since jobs are scarce and job security is basically nonexistent.  But I always have said "If there's a will, there's a way" and there has always been a way.  If you want it, you gotta work for it, and that's what I'm doing now.  I want to graduate, and I'm doing the only thing I can to make that happen-go to school.

I can't let outside opinions and events affect me like they have before.  Reality is always going to be gloomy and pessimistic, but it's working through it and achieving what you want despite the odds against you that really define success.  Anyway, I'm back to being full time and it feels good to be back in the classroom and not feeling like a zombie because I have a job to go to immediately afterward.

I Couldn't Make this Up if I Tried

Greetings and Happy New Year everyone.  Unless you celebrate the Chinese New Year, of which I say, "Well aren't we pretentious?" (Kidding)

I had all intentions on going out and ringing in the new year at the bar behind my house and getting all fancy-but when I got home it was pitch black, wet and cold and I just couldn't get into the going out mood.  Besides, when I got home the boyfriend and I decided to swing by Target to look at TVs.  And guess what?  We got a new one for super cheap.  And then mounted that bitch on our wall.  Shitting of the pants ensued.

I don't even know where that picture is from, but it's both ridiculous and funny, so it works for me.

Even after setting up our new monstrosity, I just decided to be a pants-less fat ass and said "fuck yo couch!" for the remainder of 2011.  I enjoyed this, because I broke open my expensive wine and ate Wendy's.  Things were looking up.

And now that 2012 has finally entered my life, I figured this is a year to actually have resolutions.  They are as follows (in no particular order because I'm too lazy for that):

1. Put my health first
2. Actually care about my state of being
3. React less (violently)
4. Gain 10 pounds (and not 10lbs of pure whatever that I can burn off)
5. Walk the dog more
6. Walk the lakes as much as physically possible considering the weather.
7. Excel in school (either grade wise, getting closer to graduation, or having a greater sense of self accomplishment)

I gave up after 7.  I figured a top 10 would be nice, but I've got enough down already.  Plus gaining 10 lbs is going to be really freakin difficult since my body slips into a food coma if I consume more than 2000 calories a day.

Weak sauce.

Anyway, I'm going to get back to doing real work instead of being all retarded on the internets.  I'll post more later.