Smiling Through the Tears

Being strong for everyone else is probably the most abrasive thing anyone can endure.  I've been hit over the head this week with pretty much everything that could go wrong with my life.  After going through a fight that nearly ended my relationship, I'm told that the boyfriend's father, who he hasn't seen since he was in diapers, has been diagnosed with cancer.  They've only been in contact for the past 2 years and have a wonderful relationship, but I'm looking at flying out to New York far sooner than originally planned.  This is a real game changer.  I'm looking at missing a week of school and work with this, but I'm staying positive for him and this whole thing.  I can't not be.

On top of that, work issues have sprung up just at the right time (sarcasm, if you will). I'm not sure how I'm going to get through all this, but I'm hoping it ends up working out for the best.  I'm just gonna have a rocky month to go through.  I don't want to go into this, but it really sucks having so much responsibility when the above just happens to hit you too.

It seems the only good news is that I'm 90% sure I will be an owner of a motor vehicle again. I'm sure this will help with some of the problems going on with my life.  I'm looking at testing it out tomorrow and if all goes well, I will make an offer.  I know the guy who is gonna be meeting with me and he seems pretty excited to get me going with something, so hopefully he can offer me something good.

I feel so overwhelmed with everything that's going on though.  I'm pretty sure when I go home tonight I will just break down and cry.  The stress and reality of everything is starting to sink in and frankly, after being hit continually over the head about everything, I can't act like everything's fine and I've got nothing to worry about.  These things are serious and I need to do something about it.  I'm not sure what exactly I'm gonna be doing, but it needs to be done.

Life has a good way of making you feel wonderful when everything goes to shit.  It's like, I may have lost everything in the fire, but at least I still saw the sunrise this morning.  It's insanity.